New chapters, new life

anniemade // On new chapters and new life
anniemade // On new chapters and new life

It's an interesting week for me that has me reflecting on new chapters, new life, the past, the future - everything kind of. We moved to our first official North Carolina apartment this week, so we're surrounded by boxes - a very visual reminder of a new chapter. Monday night was also our Passover seder - the first time I've been home for it since college and the first time Gus was able to celebrate Passover with my family.

And with these things going on, today is the eleven year anniversary of my mom passing away. Hitting ten years last year was something that really struck me and was an important milestone in a time in my life when I was thinking about making some huge, courageous changes.

A year later... and eleven years later... I'm watching life change so much everyday. I don't think I've ever been more grateful for the life I have and the people who are in it than now. I can't remember a time in recent memory that I felt as satisfied and happy with the life I'm invited by God to live everyday. I'm still filled, at times, with insecurity, anxiety, worry, stress, fear - but at a base level, I am grateful to be alive.

So today, when I think of my mom, I'm not thinking about her death so much as I am thinking about the power of her life - the power of the person she was. The more I've been on this journey of refocusing my life on what really matters, the more I've seen that power guide me and inspire me in expected and so many unexpected ways.

As we were leaving the Passover seder on Monday night, my cousin Sharon presented me with the seedling that's the picture in today's post. Along with the seedling is a story. It's a cutting from a plant that almost 20 years ago, my mom gave to Sharon to welcome her to Fayetteville. Sharon kept it, grew it, cared for it, and now is giving it to me to plant it and develop roots of my own.

And she gave it to me - this gift of new life - during this week, of all weeks, on the eve of a new home, a new chapter, during a passover celebration, and the anniversary of a very tough day in my life. And though maybe it's cheesy, I can't help but feel it's mom nudging me - saying this is the time to put down roots, to stay and grow awhile, and to see what good you can do.

I miss you mom, but I trust what you taught me - that things happen for a reason and angels do exist. I am so grateful that you are mine.